Hi! Mostly I’ve been a lurker on your blog, though I have commented a few (rare) times. I really admire your blog and your work! Right now I’m 16, a junior in high school, and having a difficult time. I saw that you went to Columbia and Yale! Columbia is my dream college, I would love to go. Problem is, my GPA is low (3.9) and most people at my school that get in have a GPA of 4.3 or around there! I have a hard time in my classes too! I have 2 B’s and a B- (or possible even a C! *dies) right now, and the semester ends in January. I’m really worried. I was wondering, do you have advice on how to get into college, how to excel in high school, but not be overwhelmed and still have a cool life (as you do?) Thank you so much and sorry if this seems like whining/venting.
- Angela

Thanks for writing to me, Angela. I can relate to your plight: school is challenging, and the work quickly piles up. But at the same time, school is manageable — and it’s easy to lose sight of this fact. Remember that all over the world, high school students are taking SATs, writing college applications and struggling to keep up. Hard work, yes. Frustrating, definitely. But impossible? Not in the least. Many of your peers excel and maintain balance — and that means you can, too. So let’s make it a reality!

The straight dope is that grades matter. My hero Dale Carnegie tells us to accept what we cannot change: you got a few bum grades; that’s over and done. Now, the keyword is action. What can you do to raise your marks? If you “think outside the bento box,” the answer is — a lot.

I hated the course offerings at my high school. Instead of grumbling to myself, I took matters into my own hands. I convinced the administrators to let me study AP Art History and AP English Literature on my own, and ended up doing well on the exams. If I felt a grade was unfair, I’d discuss it with my teacher and suggest ways to make it up, such as by doing extra work. Fight! Take action! You never have to accept what’s handed to you.

SATs and grades matter if you want to get into a top school such as Columbia. But personal essays and recommendations also carry weight — and this is an area that many students neglect. Take it from me: Ivy League schools despise wallflowers. They want students who are memorable, who push buttons and are CHARACTERS. People like, well, yours truly.

So be crazy. Be controversial! Be bold! I recently read an applicant’s essay about Model UN and wanted to commit hara-kiri, oh I was so bored. For the love of Basil, please don’t talk about your “new appreciation for diversity” and “making a global difference” as “a good team player as well as facilitator.”

If I had to write about my Model UN experience (NYC 01), I’d confess that I didn’t go to any of the meetings and instead hung out in the Lower East Side. Snuck into CBGB’s, the infamous rock club that is now closed. Talked to musicians and artists who didn’t realize I was a teen. I learned far more about diversity and alternative cultures from running away from Model UN, rather than attending it. (Who would you rather be roommates with — purple-haired me, or the kid “with a global mindset about diverse cultural backgrounds”?)

How about maintaining balance? Once again, it’s manageable. Let me tell you about how I juggled my work and my LA book tour.

† Figure out how much time you need to complete tasks — and then DO them. I finished my CNNGo articles before I left and wrote blog posts ahead of time, so that I wouldn’t be burdened during my book tour.
† Don’t be afraid to say no. I can’t do book signings in every city or respond to every request. I made decisions about my priorities — and stuck to them.
† Schedule and plan like a madwoman. As you can see on my blog, I fit an incredible number of business visits into my short trip. This required weeks of advance planning, Google mapping and follow-ups. If I tried to “wing it,” I would still be lost on the highway with the boys!

For more inspiration, I draw your attention to Gretchen Rubin, author of book The Happiness Project. She’s a fellow Yale-Law-School-turned-writer-and-blogger, who is having a grand time pursuing happiness and blazing her own path. Her blog is full of excellent tips; I encourage you to check it out.

You can read my previous Reader Question responses here. I love hearing from you; do let me know your thoughts in the comments, and contact me if you’d like me to answer a question of your own.

All photos by the talented Derek Cutting, who shoots the Gloomth clothing catalog. Photos taken in Secret Garden teahouse and the taxidermy exhibit at the Museum of Vancouver.

Purple dress: sent to me from Gloomth & the Cult of Melancholy
Black Gothic dress: Victorian Maiden
Short jacket with ruffled sleeves: Marble, from Marui One Shinjuku
Long lace gloves: Spider
Victorian choker: sent to me from Yifat Aharoni
Lipstick: “No She Didn’t” and “D’Lilac”, sent to me from Lime Crime makeup. I’m so pleased with these lip colors; more photos and a review coming up!