Hey,
Sorry if you get questions like this all the time and it’s not exactly linked to Lolita, but I was just wondering how you organise your trips to Japan and the attitude there. I really want to go, but I’m not quite how to get organise hotels and travel since I don’t speak japanese. Do you have any advice on getting bargains and organising travel to avoid any mistakes and confusion? Also, I have traveled back home from Hong Kong by myself and have been randomly checked which scared the crap out of me. Please tell your not more likely to get randomly checked for wearing lolita or ‘strange clothing.’ I can’t wait to use your lolita shopping guide :3 Thanks in advance and I heart your blog ^^
- Nakayoshia

Most excellent questions, my dear! Since I constantly fly to Tokyo for work, I’ve picked up quite a few travel tips. First off, don’t feel intimidated by going to Japan alone — even if you don’t know the language. The stories about friendliness and cleanliness are true. If you’re sticking to major cities and tourist areas, you won’t run into problems getting around. (Photos in this post by Qhoto.)

† Entry visa: Do you need one? Most likely not, but it’s a good idea to check. Same goes with immunizations (I got an optional Hepatitis A shot to be safe).
† Plane tickets: Japan is great all year round, but I try to avoid holidays if possible (since flights are cheaper in the off-season). Spring is crunch time because of sakura season and the Japanese school holiday. From North America, I try to book a direct flight (usually Japan Airlines), but I don’t mind stopping in San Francisco.
† Hotel: TokyoTopia has one of the best guides to cheap hotels. Try to stay in Shinjuku, Shibuya, Ikebukuro, or somewhere the Yamanote (green) subway line. Sakura Hotel has several locations and some of the best deals around; book early, as rooms fill up fast.
† Money: Don’t forget to call your credit card company before you leave, to let them know you’ll be in Japan (or they might freeze your account due to unusual activity!) I exchange money into yen before I fly to Japan; most places accept major credit cards, but it’s a good idea to have a stash of cash on hand.

(Top left: Ruki of The Gazette cosplay!)
† Getting from the airport to the hotel: I usually take a ¥3000 Limousine Bus from Narita Airport to Shinjuku Station West Exit, or wherever I’m headed. You can buy a ticket at the counter as soon as you leave the baggage claim (the staff speaks English; to schedule a return trip, call +81-3-3665-7220). Then, you may have to take a taxi from the drop-off to your final destination. Tip: write down the hotel’s address in Japanese and show it to your driver, to avoid any communication breakdown!
† Sightseeing: TokyoTopia has subway maps, neighborhood guides, and everything else you need to get around. Street and subway signs are in English as well as Japanese. Most people don’t speak English, so I’d suggest carrying a basic phrasebook (such as this one) and learning helpful phrases, such as “sumimasen, eki wa doko desu ka” (“excuse me, the station is where”… That way, the person can at least point in the correct direction).
† Don’t forget to study my Gothic Lolita Punk Shopping Guide, which includes photos and descriptions of the key stores in Harajuku and Shinjuku! Also peruse my Goth Cyber Club Guide, which includes address, directions, maps and links.

As for cultural attitudes, shinpai shinaide — worry not! Nobody will confront you or make you feel uncomfortable about the way you dress. And there won’t be random checks; if you’re obviously a foreigner, the police and authorities won’t give you a second glance. Of course, in any city, it’s best to not stir things up, but Japan is one of the least likely places you’ll encounter trouble for wearing “unusual” clothes.

I always encourage my friends to travel to Japan, even if they don’t know much about the language or culture — and every single time, they return gushing about the experience. So go! Please feel free to write to me if you have a Reader Question; you can be as off-topic as you please. Do you have any tips or questions about travelling to Japan? Let me know in the comments.

Speaking of open attitudes towards lifestyles… there’s an article in Japan Today about the Hibari-tei drag maid cafe where Yukiro works! You may also enjoy the blog of a mighty cute Japanese cross-dresser, Kiriko.

As I announced on my Twitter, I’m getting a haircut/color in early January — any suggestions? Visual Kei and Gothloli styles are always welcome… send me links and photos.

Hi! Mostly I’ve been a lurker on your blog, though I have commented a few (rare) times. I really admire your blog and your work! Right now I’m 16, a junior in high school, and having a difficult time. I saw that you went to Columbia and Yale! Columbia is my dream college, I would love to go. Problem is, my GPA is low (3.9) and most people at my school that get in have a GPA of 4.3 or around there! I have a hard time in my classes too! I have 2 B’s and a B- (or possible even a C! *dies) right now, and the semester ends in January. I’m really worried. I was wondering, do you have advice on how to get into college, how to excel in high school, but not be overwhelmed and still have a cool life (as you do?) Thank you so much and sorry if this seems like whining/venting.
- Angela

Thanks for writing to me, Angela. I can relate to your plight: school is challenging, and the work quickly piles up. But at the same time, school is manageable — and it’s easy to lose sight of this fact. Remember that all over the world, high school students are taking SATs, writing college applications and struggling to keep up. Hard work, yes. Frustrating, definitely. But impossible? Not in the least. Many of your peers excel and maintain balance — and that means you can, too. So let’s make it a reality!

The straight dope is that grades matter. My hero Dale Carnegie tells us to accept what we cannot change: you got a few bum grades; that’s over and done. Now, the keyword is action. What can you do to raise your marks? If you “think outside the bento box,” the answer is — a lot.

I hated the course offerings at my high school. Instead of grumbling to myself, I took matters into my own hands. I convinced the administrators to let me study AP Art History and AP English Literature on my own, and ended up doing well on the exams. If I felt a grade was unfair, I’d discuss it with my teacher and suggest ways to make it up, such as by doing extra work. Fight! Take action! You never have to accept what’s handed to you.

SATs and grades matter if you want to get into a top school such as Columbia. But personal essays and recommendations also carry weight — and this is an area that many students neglect. Take it from me: Ivy League schools despise wallflowers. They want students who are memorable, who push buttons and are CHARACTERS. People like, well, yours truly.

So be crazy. Be controversial! Be bold! I recently read an applicant’s essay about Model UN and wanted to commit hara-kiri, oh I was so bored. For the love of Basil, please don’t talk about your “new appreciation for diversity” and “making a global difference” as “a good team player as well as facilitator.”

If I had to write about my Model UN experience (NYC 01), I’d confess that I didn’t go to any of the meetings and instead hung out in the Lower East Side. Snuck into CBGB’s, the infamous rock club that is now closed. Talked to musicians and artists who didn’t realize I was a teen. I learned far more about diversity and alternative cultures from running away from Model UN, rather than attending it. (Who would you rather be roommates with — purple-haired me, or the kid “with a global mindset about diverse cultural backgrounds”?)

How about maintaining balance? Once again, it’s manageable. Let me tell you about how I juggled my work and my LA book tour.

† Figure out how much time you need to complete tasks — and then DO them. I finished my CNNGo articles before I left and wrote blog posts ahead of time, so that I wouldn’t be burdened during my book tour.
† Don’t be afraid to say no. I can’t do book signings in every city or respond to every request. I made decisions about my priorities — and stuck to them.
† Schedule and plan like a madwoman. As you can see on my blog, I fit an incredible number of business visits into my short trip. This required weeks of advance planning, Google mapping and follow-ups. If I tried to “wing it,” I would still be lost on the highway with the boys!

For more inspiration, I draw your attention to Gretchen Rubin, author of book The Happiness Project. She’s a fellow Yale-Law-School-turned-writer-and-blogger, who is having a grand time pursuing happiness and blazing her own path. Her blog is full of excellent tips; I encourage you to check it out.

You can read my previous Reader Question responses here. I love hearing from you; do let me know your thoughts in the comments, and contact me if you’d like me to answer a question of your own.

All photos by the talented Derek Cutting, who shoots the Gloomth clothing catalog. Photos taken in Secret Garden teahouse and the taxidermy exhibit at the Museum of Vancouver.

Purple dress: sent to me from Gloomth & the Cult of Melancholy
Black Gothic dress: Victorian Maiden
Short jacket with ruffled sleeves: Marble, from Marui One Shinjuku
Long lace gloves: Spider
Victorian choker: sent to me from Yifat Aharoni
Lipstick: “No She Didn’t” and “D’Lilac”, sent to me from Lime Crime makeup. I’m so pleased with these lip colors; more photos and a review coming up!

Hello, my name is Nana, and I would first like to say that you are like my idol-seriously!
Now that’s out of the way (and I can quit blushing), I want to ask for your advice. I read your blog, La Carmina, enough to say I am a loyal fan, and I think you are by far one of the coolest journalists (I’m guessing you fit that category, but your work seems very all over the spectrum) to date. What do I do to get where you are?

I know, plenty of people may ask you this question- to the point it may seem a bit repetitive and maybe even cliche- but seriously, I need some help!

I graduated high school, two years early, and so far I’m on hold where school is concerned. I don’t really know where to begin, so I’ve been thinking a liberal arts school, and on the other hand- I really, really, am considering being a Jrock Journalist. Oh, and to top that- I’m trying to get into an Ivy school possibly. Which also has me freaking out!

Also, I wanted to ask – How did you go about getting your first book published? Did you get scouted by the mysterious agent who saw your scribbles on a napkin (a la J.K. Rowling)? Or did you send your stuff in? Did you have to supply a ton of rough drafts? And just how long does that take?! O_O

I know you are very busy, so I’ll like to thank-you for taking the time to read my letter, and hopefully you are able to respond.
-Nana V.-

Dear Nana,
First, congratulations on your accomplishments! It’s no easy feat to graduate early from high school. And the fact that you are aiming high – considering future careers, looking at top universities – shows me you’re well on your way to success.

Over the years, I’ve learned to be less anxious about the future – because I’ve realized you can’t predict what it will look like until you get there. A job that sounds awesome today (such as blogging or J-rock journalism) may not even exist in five years. Think about it: when I was 16, it was the year 2000. YouTube, Google, Craigslist and blogs had yet to be invented. Digital cameras were a novelty. The hottest web technologies were ICQ and Geocities, both of which are dead today.

It was impossible, even for Nostradamus, to predict that anyone could have a career like mine in 2009. I never imagined I’d have blog income, talk to editors via Skype, or live in Tokyo part-time. That I’d take digital photos for my books and create drawings on a computer program (Adobe Illustrator). That I’d be hosting a Goth cooking show on YouTube and exchanging messages with Courtney Love on Twitter.

So I wouldn’t worry about what the future will look like – it will reveal itself in time! Until then, you are taking exactly the right steps to be prepared. I encourage you to try to get into the best university possible; you’ll be around smart people and the classes will help you stay sharp. Be curious and get involved: if you’re intrigued by J-rock journalism, reach out to others, volunteer to write for a site, or start your own blog.

Stay busy and you will end up doing many cool gigs. Nobody knows exactly where you’ll end up – but I have faith that you will get there.

As for how I got involved with book-writing… it was something of a fluke. I was helping a producer with a book proposal and on a whim, decided to try writing one for myself. I sent it to a small publisher and they ended up giving me a contract! So I continued down that path; after this blog took off, I signed with an awesome agent who pitched Cute Yummy Time and Crazy Wacky Theme Restaurants. The moral is: you’ll never know what could happen unless you take the plunge.

Writing a book was never a dream of mine as I was growing up, but somehow I ended up here — and I know I’m really lucky. To be honest, my story is an exceptional case; most aspiring authors go through rounds of rejected manuscripts and agent pitches. Once you’ve got the contract, the work begins: one or two years of it. There are multiple rounds of drafts; you should expect to revise almost everything you first submitted. That is the nature of the business, but I have no complaints – I consider it a great privilege to be able to write books for well-established publishers like Perigee/Penguin an Mark Batty/Random House.

Gambatte – keep aiming high and experimenting, and I have no doubt you’ll succeed! For more advice from La Carmina, check out the Reader Questions section. I welcome your questions; contact me and I’ll do my best to respond quickly.

Final advice: get a daily dose of cuteness. For more fuzzy kitty pictures, check out Basil Farrow’s Scottish Fold cats blog.

Song of the Day #230: Gurigula – I’ll never forget your love (saw this Visual Kei band perform yesterday at J-Summit, a rock bands event at Webster Hall NYC. Rock!)

NOTE: This blog post was written years ago…I’ve since visited Hong Kong and done many more articles about Goth/Lolita and Visual Kei culture. You can read all my articles here, and there’s some Lolita shopping maps here.

Japanese Streets, a comprehensive resource on Harajuku street style, kindly gave me permission to post these Sweet Lolita photos. The models are aged 13, 14, and 19 and mostly wearing Angelic Pretty — and their candy-floss hair is to die for! You can see more from the shoot on Japanese Streets.

Now, let’s reach for the Reader Questions mail bag. Liz writes, “I’ve got some questions for you Carmina :) They relate to Hong Kong…”

1. When you travel to Hong Kong do you dress to the nines in Lolita gear? I find HK to be a pretty conservative country, being blonde attracts enough attention for me — I’m curious how your experience with the HK people is if you dress “crazy” here? Do you get a lot of photo requests, etc.?

Ah, you gotta love Hong Kong attitude. In Japan, you can be half-naked and drenched in fake blood — and everyone will politely walk by. Whereas in Hong Kong, you’ll get scrunched-up faces and pointing fingers and a chorus of “Ai-yahs”! HK fashion can be pretty crazy, but the acceptability standard is: would a Cantopop singer wear it? If not (eg, Lolita/Goth/Punk), then you can expect some rudeness from strangers.

2. Do you have any favorite HK fashion spots for Gothic Lolita style?

I did a post about Hong Kong Lolita stores Spider, Baby Cupid and Dracula; you can read it here. It includes a map and detailed directions.

A few more to add to the Hong Kong shopping list:
† Sogo in Causeway Bay has a Liz Lisa (Princess Kei) and Hangry and Angry (the casual cat mascots from h.NAOTO) on the third floor.
† Right behind Sogo is Laforet. Several of the boutiques sell Japanese young women’s brands such as Milk and Jane Marple.
† Anna House sells custom-made Lolita clothing. The shop is near the Kwun Tong subway stop.

3. Where are all the HK Lolitas?! I’ve seen a small handful, usually in TST taking photos so I presume they’re not locals :( It’s such an interesting genre of style, and you probably know how into “street” fashion people are here. I’d love to get some photos of girls here dressed up & start publicizing more “unusual” fashion.

You’ll see Lolita and Harajuku-inspired outfits around town, but other than individual meetups, there aren’t really any events where the girls gather. Hong Kong is funny about fashion and money. Cantonese stars don’t wear the fashion, so few girls are interested. And there isn’t any money to be made by having Goth/industrial parties. However — dum dum dum — there may be an invasion in the works… keep reading and all will be revealed!

I welcome you to ask me questions, which I’ll reply in this blog feature (shoot me an email any time!). You can see my previous responses to Reader Questions here.

-Samantha

Dear Samantha,

1990s flashback! Your experience sounds so much like mine in high school. Every day, this little Goth’s eyes rolled to the back of her head at the sight of her Lip-Smackered classmates. How I longed to find fellow darklings and fly away… (Photos above are of me at age 16!)

It’s funny to look at my classmates’ faces on Facebook a decade later: people don’t change much. Their photos reveal tanning in Cabo, cosmos with the girls before a Britney concert, grinding with jock boys… while mine are of, um, Gothic pallor parties in Tokyo, mad tea with the cosplayers prior to Moi dix Mois, and rope suspensions with transsexuals…

1) If you are anything like me, life will be superb after high school! Patience, my dear; you won’t be in a small town with small minds for much longer. Until then, do the absolute best you can in class – because with a strong academic record, you have a greater choice of colleges, work options, and places to live. Then apply to the best colleges; being around smart people never hurts. The worst thing you can do is squander your education now and be stuck in Smallville forever.

I have no doubt that with your many interests and fierce individuality, you’ll soon be living the life you want to lead! But remember to be patient… it took me 6 years (from the start of college to now) to be where I am now – and I have so much more to work for.

2) Opportunities rarely arise… you must chase them down and stab them with your pitchfork! Every gig I’ve ever had came from approaching someone and pleading my case. It’s not going to be easy; I’ve gotten a good share of rejection letters. But the more you stab in a certain direction, the more likely you are to draw blood. Approach people you admire; send out emails; apply for internships; propose collaborations; save money so you can spend the summer in Tokyo. It’s up to you – meaning that if you put in a good effort, opportunity will rear its head.

3) When I was in my teens, my dream job was to work for MuchMusic (the Canadian MTV) or a big record company. How times have changed; music labels/TV stations are now gasping their last breaths. The same may be the case for blogs – which is why my current path may not be the one for you. I encourage you to explore blogging and social networks, but keep in mind that most opportunities have yet be created. In a few years, you’ll be ready to pounce on the next wave, whatever it may be.

4) You must fight assimilation tooth and nail, and never let down your guard. It is ridiculously easy to take the steady path; to get off where the sign reads “content” instead of hacking through the jungle towards “sublime”. After college, many people take the adequate paycheck, telling themselves that they can pursue their dreams later on. But before they realize it, inertia sets in – and these dreams aren’t worth the effort of getting off the couch.

Fight mellowness to the death, with the help of your comrades. My closest friends will give me a good spanking if I exhibit any sign of “settling for less”. I’m certain that you too will find allies in the years after high school. Again, patience – and you’ll soon be overwhelmed by opportunities. Gambatte!

PS: I don’t possess the cat – Basil Farrow possesses me! (He came into my life of his own accord, as you may recall from this profile.)

What were your experiences with high school? Do you have any thoughts for Samantha? I invite you to email me questions and I’ll do my best to answer them in this blog feature.