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ALTERNATIVE CLOTHING STORES, SHOPPING ON MELROSE IN LOS ANGELES: COSMO OF FLASHER & SPEED BOUTIQUES.


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Gather round, children, and listen to the twisted tale of the Adventure Team’s shopping trip! We began the mission by posing fiercely in Santa Monica. (I stole Lemon’s velvet navy blazer with gold military buttons. Ementhy stole my grey skull scarf.)

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Look what we found in the Giant Robot store on Sawtelle: my Crazy, Wacky Theme Restaurants book, which has a full-page color photo of Yukiro as the Cheshire Cat! (You know you want a copy… click here for info.)

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Onwards to Melrose, one of my favorite LA shopping spots for vintage/alternative/Goth clothing. There’s free parking in the side streets (you’ll want to hit the Melrose strip between Spaulding and Formosa). In a used CD store, I picked up a little something by The Creatures.

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Being cash-strapped means we go nuts for anything free — so when we heard that The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf was giving out free chai lattes between 4-7pm, we arrived on their doorstep at 4:01.

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While Yukiro tried on flaming black and white pants, Lemon and K made beckoning hand sweeps.

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Danger! Danger! We wandered into Speed, the Melrose lair of Liza-Minelli-flamboyant Cosmo. He grabbed my boys and started dressing (and molesting) them like Barbie dolls, all the while spewing “scandalacious” one-liners in a scratchy voice…

“It’s like you’ve got gonorrhea and God gave you a lifetime supply of Vagasil. It’s like you call your crack dealer and all they’ve got left is Vagasil. It’s so f*#%-ing sick, it’s totally SICK!”

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Cosmo made sure to primp and fondle the boys until they looked “Vagasil, like so totally SICK.” When he couldn’t zip up Lemon’s $600 jacket, he tore it off…. and flung it onto the sidewalk! (Dramatique!)

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Cosmo whispered to Ementhy (center): “I’ll give you this jacket free in return for a blow job.” He winked and jabbed his thumb towards the back: “There’s a bathroom over there.” (Choose Your Own Adventure time: did Ementhy take him by the hand and lead him to toilet? Or did he back away slowly, slowly?)

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Cosmo’s second in command was a bouncing Asian boy who sang, “Tutus, we’ve got tutus!”

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Here is the finished result. Are you laughing as hard as I am?

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Time for a nap and Tao Te Ching readings… until the next adventure!

Have you been to Speed or Flasher, Cosmo’s boutiques on Melrose? Do you have any strange and fabulous stories of over-zealous store clerks?

Song of the Day #314: Gackt – Black Stone (for the raven-haired K, who always poses like his beloved Gackto!)

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Filed Under Fashion
78 Comments

78 Comments

  1. Posted February 26, 2010 at 8:26 pm | Permalink

    oh, the nightmares! frightening

  2. Posted February 26, 2010 at 8:26 pm | Permalink

    oh, the nightmares! frightening

  3. Posted February 26, 2010 at 8:41 pm | Permalink

    Wow, that sounds like an adventure. I’ve been to Speed, but never had an experience quite like that.

    • Posted February 27, 2010 at 2:23 am | Permalink

      Ahaha I think he gives good looking guys most of the attention..

  4. Posted February 27, 2010 at 1:17 am | Permalink

    ohmygod!!!!!!! i’ve met the guy you saw at speed!!!! he was so flamboyant and hilarious ^U^

    • Posted February 27, 2010 at 2:23 am | Permalink

      hahah did Cosmo dress you up too? SO funny… we were imitating his voice and demeanor for days afterward!

  5. Posted February 27, 2010 at 1:25 am | Permalink

    that is one of my fave Gackt vids!

  6. Posted February 26, 2010 at 8:26 pm | Permalink

    oh, the nightmares! frightening

  7. Posted February 26, 2010 at 8:26 pm | Permalink

    oh, the nightmares! frightening

  8. Posted February 27, 2010 at 1:41 am | Permalink

    Great shots of Yukiro.

  9. Posted February 26, 2010 at 8:41 pm | Permalink

    Wow, that sounds like an adventure. I've been to Speed, but never had an experience quite like that.

  10. Posted February 27, 2010 at 2:22 am | Permalink

    “It’s like you’ve got gonorrhea and God gave you a lifetime supply of Vagasil.” – LMAO

  11. Posted February 27, 2010 at 3:23 am | Permalink

    Taang! Records (music) and Golden Apple (Kawaii! stuff/collectibles)…

  12. Posted February 27, 2010 at 3:44 am | Permalink

    Cosmo is a longtime friend of mine… going to his store this Sunday! Also stopping by the Tokidoki store – YAY!

    • Posted February 27, 2010 at 3:58 am | Permalink

      No way ahahah! He made our day with his fabulosity!

  13. Posted February 27, 2010 at 3:57 am | Permalink

    yes…I have known him about 9 years…he’s a Melrose fixture :)

  14. Posted February 27, 2010 at 3:59 am | Permalink

    “It’s like you’ve got gonorrhea and God gave you a lifetime supply of Vagasil. It’s like you call your crack dealer and all they’ve got left is Vagasil. It’s so f*#%-ing sick, it’s totally SICK!”

    The BEST LINE EVER! ROFL :oD

  15. Posted February 27, 2010 at 3:59 am | Permalink

    That sounds hilarious, it seems you always have the best adventures!!

    • Posted February 27, 2010 at 4:00 am | Permalink

      Somehow, we always end up in strange and twisted situations! ;) Many more adventures to be posted… wait til you see the photos!

  16. Posted February 27, 2010 at 4:16 am | Permalink

    :'(
    why am i not packed in ur bag?
    LOL

  17. Posted February 27, 2010 at 5:33 am | Permalink

    Yukiro looks great posing with your book, in the picture with Lemon, and in the picture where he has the tutu around his neck! I really like those pics.
    What’s funny is that looking at the pics from this post from beginning to end it looks like the guys forgot their coats at home and then went on a shopping spree for jackets/coats because it was too cold out lol. And then they all went home in a cab like sleeping beauties. Wonder who delivered the waking kiss, lol.
    I’m sure Ementhy slowly backed away when hearing that proposition… slowly backed away, gave an awkward smile/laugh and said no thx lol. I’d feel insulted.
    You all seem to always have fun together, that’s great! I want an Adventure Team too >_<

    • Posted February 27, 2010 at 5:54 pm | Permalink

      Hehehe, there is also a great photo of him holding two tutus in the air like pom poms… every occasion is a photo shoot!

      Adventure Teams are the bestest!

  18. Posted February 27, 2010 at 1:17 am | Permalink

    ohmygod!!!!!!! i've met the guy you saw at speed!!!! he was so flamboyant and hilarious ^U^

  19. Posted February 27, 2010 at 1:25 am | Permalink

    that is one of my fave Gackt vids!

  20. Posted February 27, 2010 at 1:41 am | Permalink

    Great shots of Yukiro.

  21. Posted February 27, 2010 at 2:22 am | Permalink

    “It’s like you’ve got gonorrhea and God gave you a lifetime supply of Vagasil.” – LMAO

  22. Posted February 27, 2010 at 2:23 am | Permalink

    Ahaha I think he gives good looking guys most of the attention..

  23. Posted February 27, 2010 at 2:23 am | Permalink

    hahah did Cosmo dress you up too? SO funny… we were imitating his voice and demeanor for days afterward!

  24. Posted February 27, 2010 at 7:57 am | Permalink

    I first met Cosmo over ten years ago.
    My Dance partner & I had driven down to L.A. to compete in a Salsa dance contest, and when we got there we discovered we had left our costumes at home in S.F.
    We wandered thru a few stores, but as we were looking in his he overheard my partners accent (Bronx…) and started talking with us (Cosmo is from Brooklyn I think).
    He helped us get some outfits – from other stores – and sent us to a tailor down the street for some quick alterations. He saved the day for us!
    We have been friends ever since.

    • Posted February 27, 2010 at 5:54 pm | Permalink

      That is so funny! He really knows his stuff — he primped their collars and tucked their scarves until they looked like models. :)

  25. Posted February 27, 2010 at 3:23 am | Permalink

    Taang! Records (music) and Golden Apple (Kawaii! stuff/collectibles)…

  26. Posted February 27, 2010 at 3:44 am | Permalink

    Cosmo is a longtime friend of mine… going to his store this Sunday! Also stopping by the Tokidoki store – YAY!

  27. Posted February 27, 2010 at 3:57 am | Permalink

    yes…I have known him about 9 years…he's a Melrose fixture :)

  28. Posted February 27, 2010 at 3:58 am | Permalink

    No way ahahah! He made our day with his fabulosity!

  29. Posted February 27, 2010 at 3:59 am | Permalink

    “It’s like you’ve got gonorrhea and God gave you a lifetime supply of Vagasil. It’s like you call your crack dealer and all they’ve got left is Vagasil. It’s so f*#%-ing sick, it’s totally SICK!”

    The BEST LINE EVER! ROFL :oD

  30. Posted February 27, 2010 at 3:59 am | Permalink

    That sounds hilarious, it seems you always have the best adventures!!

  31. Posted February 27, 2010 at 4:00 am | Permalink

    Somehow, we always end up in strange and twisted situations! ;) Many more adventures to be posted… wait til you see the photos!

  32. Posted February 27, 2010 at 4:16 am | Permalink

    :'(
    why am i not packed in ur bag?
    LOL

  33. Posted February 27, 2010 at 5:33 am | Permalink

    Yukiro looks great posing with your book, in the picture with Lemon, and in the picture where he has the tutu around his neck! I really like those pics.
    What's funny is that looking at the pics from this post from beginning to end it looks like the guys forgot their coats at home and then went on a shopping spree for jackets/coats because it was too cold out lol. And then they all went home in a cab like sleeping beauties. Wonder who delivered the waking kiss, lol.
    I'm sure Ementhy slowly backed away when hearing that proposition… slowly backed away, gave an awkward smile/laugh and said no thx lol. I'd feel insulted.
    You all seem to always have fun together, that's great! I want an Adventure Team too >_<

  34. Posted February 27, 2010 at 7:57 am | Permalink

    I first met Cosmo over ten years ago.
    My Dance partner & I had driven down to L.A. to compete in a Salsa dance contest, and when we got there we discovered we had left our costumes at home in S.F.
    We wandered thru a few stores, but as we were looking in his he overheard my partners accent (Bronx…) and started talking with us (Cosmo is from Brooklyn I think).
    He helped us get some outfits – from other stores – and sent us to a tailor down the street for some quick alterations. He saved the day for us!
    We have been friends ever since.

  35. Posted February 27, 2010 at 2:19 pm | Permalink

    The guys here are so hilarious but I like their fashion sense.

  36. Posted February 27, 2010 at 4:28 pm | Permalink

    I’m glad the picture of me and K having our epic fight made it in the post.

    • Posted February 27, 2010 at 5:56 pm | Permalink

      What was that all about? You were pummeling each other like a scene out of Fight Club!

      • Posted February 28, 2010 at 5:54 pm | Permalink

        The first rule of Fight Club is that you don’t talk about Fight Club.

  37. Posted February 27, 2010 at 2:19 pm | Permalink

    The guys here are so hilarious but I like their fashion sense.

  38. Posted February 27, 2010 at 4:28 pm | Permalink

    I'm glad the picture of me and K having our epic fight made it in the post.

  39. Posted February 27, 2010 at 5:54 pm | Permalink

    Hehehe, there is also a great photo of him holding two tutus in the air like pom poms… every occasion is a photo shoot!

    Adventure Teams are the bestest!

  40. Posted February 27, 2010 at 5:54 pm | Permalink

    That is so funny! He really knows his stuff — he primped their collars and tucked their scarves until they looked like models. :)

  41. Posted February 27, 2010 at 5:56 pm | Permalink

    What was that all about? You were pummeling each other like a scene out of Fight Club!

  42. Posted February 28, 2010 at 5:54 pm | Permalink

    The first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club.

  43. Posted March 1, 2010 at 12:45 am | Permalink

    think they’re cool!!!

  44. Posted March 1, 2010 at 2:28 am | Permalink

    That photo of the boys is so totally cute! I am so crushing on them because of that photo. Hahaha!

    • Posted March 1, 2010 at 7:36 am | Permalink

      hahah we have many more cute photos yet to be posted…

  45. Posted March 1, 2010 at 12:45 am | Permalink

    think they're cool!!!

  46. Posted March 1, 2010 at 2:28 am | Permalink

    That photo of the boys is so totally cute! I am so crushing on them because of that photo. Hahaha!

  47. Posted March 1, 2010 at 7:36 am | Permalink

    hahah we have many more cute photos yet to be posted…

  48. Posted April 28, 2010 at 10:11 am | Permalink

    Me and my boyfriend were visiting from New Zealand and Cosmo gave us an ‘LA’ makeover. We looked so awesome and wanted to share the look with our friends back home but when I took my camera out to take a snap, Cosmo shook his head no and said ‘Honey, this ain’t Disneyland!’. Well I think that sucks! By the look of it he didn’t mind you guys taking photos in the store of your new outfits, so what gives?

    • Posted April 28, 2010 at 12:55 pm | Permalink

      hahahah did you read the part about the BJ? I think he had a hankering for the boys… ;) He insisted that we take photos!

    • Posted April 28, 2010 at 12:55 pm | Permalink

      hahahah did you read the part about the BJ? I think he had a hankering for the boys… ;) He insisted that we take photos!

      • Posted May 7, 2010 at 6:25 am | Permalink

        Yeah he made a similar comment to my boyfriend when he asked how much the shirt was….”honey you can have the shirt for free in return for special favors.” Icck.

        • Posted May 7, 2010 at 4:57 pm | Permalink

          Hmmm I wonder how many people take him up on the offer…

  49. Posted April 28, 2010 at 10:11 am | Permalink

    Me and my boyfriend were visiting from New Zealand and Cosmo gave us an 'LA' makeover. We looked so awesome and wanted to share the look with our friends back home but when I took my camera out to take a snap, Cosmo shook his head no and said 'Honey, this ain't Disneyland!'. Well I think that sucks! By the look of it he didn't mind you guys taking photos in the store of your new outfits, so what gives?

  50. Posted April 28, 2010 at 12:55 pm | Permalink

    hahahah did you read the part about the BJ? I think he had a hankering for the boys… ;) He insisted that we take photos!

  51. Posted April 28, 2010 at 12:55 pm | Permalink

    hahahah did you read the part about the BJ? I think he had a hankering for the boys… ;) He insisted that we take photos!

  52. Posted May 7, 2010 at 6:25 am | Permalink

    Yeah he made a similar comment to my boyfriend when he asked how much the shirt was….”honey you can have the shirt for free in return for special favors.” Icck.

  53. Posted May 7, 2010 at 4:57 pm | Permalink

    Hmmm I wonder how many people take him up on the offer…

  54. Posted May 11, 2010 at 10:11 pm | Permalink

    Wandered into Speed looking for a recital dress (God help me!) and met Cosmo, who immediately grabbed me by the hand and sauntered over to this ridiculously fabulous morticia-meets-vegas-showgirl number. He then, despite my laughter, thrusts me into a dressing room, along with a pair of 7 inch stiletto heels (guessing my size, of course) and tells me “Oh honey, they’re wearing this dress at Ralph’s these days! You’ll be fabulous!) I come out, and then he clips this hat (read: small animal) to my head… Long story short, he couldn’t talk me into the dress, but I couldn’t walk out without an amazing pair of skinny jeans that he also forced me to try on :P. Will DEFINITELY be going back!

  55. Posted May 11, 2010 at 10:11 pm | Permalink

    Wandered into Speed looking for a recital dress (God help me!) and met Cosmo, who immediately grabbed me by the hand and sauntered over to this ridiculously fabulous morticia-meets-vegas-showgirl number. He then, despite my laughter, thrusts me into a dressing room, along with a pair of 7 inch stiletto heels (guessing my size, of course) and tells me “Oh honey, they're wearing this dress at Ralph's these days! You'll be fabulous!) I come out, and then he clips this hat (read: small animal) to my head… Long story short, he couldn't talk me into the dress, but I couldn't walk out without an amazing pair of skinny jeans that he also forced me to try on :P. Will DEFINITELY be going back!

  56. Posted July 10, 2010 at 4:10 pm | Permalink

    The Gonorrhea is very dangerous, but you can protect it easy. I was found great website to advice you at http://www.treatmentforgonorrhea.com/

  57. Posted January 19, 2011 at 12:55 am | Permalink

    Shoes, please. Talk about shoes now. Where did the dark haired guy get his brown pointy shoes? And where did you get yours, Lacarmina? Crushing on the boys? Who wouldn’t.

    • Posted January 19, 2011 at 1:11 am | Permalink

      Heheh! My boots are Alice and the Pirates, from Closet Child. Do you mean blue pointy shoes? I believe they are Lanvin for H&M.

  58. Posted February 13, 2011 at 4:33 am | Permalink

    i just went today and i was a Barbie doll to him.
    he told me to model all these things for him and asked me to be in a fashion show
    but later forgot because he was really really hyper lol

    • Posted February 13, 2011 at 8:57 pm | Permalink

      hahah that’s hilarious! <3

  59. Posted April 9, 2011 at 12:58 am | Permalink

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  60. Posted September 14, 2011 at 4:53 am | Permalink

    Lol Cosmo is truly hilarious. He buys clothes from designer friends of mine, Italiano Couture.

    • Posted September 17, 2011 at 3:58 am | Permalink

      he’s a star!

  61. Posted May 11, 2012 at 10:41 pm | Permalink

    I just met him and he dressed and undressed me in his shop. I’d love to get his stuff, but I can’t afford them.

  62. Posted April 9, 2014 at 12:44 am | Permalink

    I have an honest question; I was looking for yaoi, so. . . how did I get this? Don’t get me wrong, you’re all terribly well dressed, but I was looking for something else. . . pooh.

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